Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
