I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
