don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
