A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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