So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i love accidental penises.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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