It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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