There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
