just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
