Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
