That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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