David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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