What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
