ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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