i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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