I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
