when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Come see our sink grown plant.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
