honey bunches of taint.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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