Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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