I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
