I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
