just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
