and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
