My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
