with your own penis?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
