I wish I could teleport
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
