I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
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