I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
