this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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