i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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