So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
