come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
