I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
