i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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