Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
