I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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