He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
