I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
3 2 1 whiskey
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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