Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
