Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
