I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
