She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
