i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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