I only kidnapped one of them. chill
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
