Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Everything about him screamed your future.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
