her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
