Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I cut my penus on the lid.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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