if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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