oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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