Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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