i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
