nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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