i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
